You Are Not Alone – Anthony Xerri
In My Image
Eating disorders are rarely a topic of discussion other than as the punch line to a joke or a criticism. They are often thought of as exclusive to skinny, spoiled rich girls with no real problems to worry about. The truth is that eating disorders such as Bulimia and Anorexia affect people of all ages, body types and genders and are very serious problems.
So serious, in fact, that they can often lead to death. I would bet that most who joke about such disorders have not had anyone close to them struggle with one. To those who have not, I would like you to think about the effect that frequent and prolonged vomiting could have on the body. In addition to corrosion of the teeth and esophagus, which could lead to a deadly tear, hair loss, osteoporosis and organ failure are just some of the many devastating consequences of purging regularly. As there are more than I am prepared to list, I strongly encourage you to look them up if you are curious (a simple Google search will suffice). In any case, if continued untreated, this lifestyle can lead to death.
For many, this type of problem is very hard to understand. It seems like the solution is to simply stop the unhealthy practices of purging and/or starvation. While I am no psychiatrist, I will attempt to put this behavior into perspective by sharing what (I believe) I have come to understand of it.
As far as I can tell, an eating problem focused on purging is very similar to a gambling problem or a drug or alcohol dependency. I would venture to guess that a large portion of my readership has been through periods (some longer than others) during which their indulgence in one or more of the aforementioned vices has been at a higher level than desired or intended, perhaps leading to some serious negative consequences. For those of us in college, the prevalence of substances can cause intoxication to become a habit and eventually a compulsion. I’m sure that many of you can recall a time on your way home from class when your intentions were to study or review, only to find yourself on the couch cracking a beer without even thinking about it. For those of you who find this to be an all too familiar situation, it should not be difficult for you to identify with someone who engages in a different kind of self destructive behavior.
Everyone has their reasons for indulging in such exploits. For some, the familiarity, the control, and the endorphin kick associated with purging can be the quickest way to quell a bout of sudden depression. Add some insecurities and a distorted body image to the mix and you’ve got what seems like a cure-all. The only problem is that the long term effects can be deadly.
One of the biggest problems with eating disorders is that their practice is often very private and secretive, allowing the behavior to get out of control and go on untreated. If you have an eating problem, or simply a concern there are many psychiatrists and institutions who want to help, provided you are a willing participant. Counseling services (CAPS) are even offered here at Rutgers. They may not be the best, but they’re free and they are here for you. If nothing else, it’s a start. One important thing to keep in mind is that it is NEVER too late. No matter what damage your body has already sustained, no matter how caught up in the cycle you are, it is not too late. All you have to do is want to get better. The human body is an amazingly resilient machine, and can recover from even the most intense harm.
For those of you who have a healthy relationship with food, be aware of the warning signs. If a friend of yours is uncomfortable eating in public, has a distorted body image, or frequently binges or purges, there is nothing wrong with voicing concern. If you know anyone who has an eating disorder, you should encourage them to get help immediately. However, do not forget that you are a friend. You are there to help, not to reprimand, berate, or belittle. Be supportive. There are many online resources available to you, including support groups for those with eating issues, as well as for friends and family. One of the most popular ones is www.something-fishy.org.
Do not hesitate to get help for yourself or someone you care about. The longer you wait the more damage you are doing. Don’t forget that no matter how helpless you may feel, you have the power to change your life. There is always hope.
Binging is to purging as gambling away 2gs is to hooking for $100 afterwards.
I’m appreciative of your efforts to speak about this issue because practically everyone has some kind of an abnormal relationship with food these days.
Having known people with eating disorders (male and female) I have to admit it is a sensitive issue in which you cannot simply just stage an intervention like the A&E show, or tell your friend that he or she is fine just the way they are.
There are a multitude of reasons why people choose to have eating disorders. During the medieval ages there was a trend seen in monasticism of “anorexic saints”, in which religious females who weren’t included in the hierarchy of the church were able to garner the respect of their ecclesiastical community by choosing to lead extremely ascetic lifestyles in which they denounce everything that is fleshy, sensuous, bodily and worldly (including food). Of course back then abstinence from food was analogous to abstinence from sex, and this highlighted the purity of a woman.
Really what we see is these women’s ability to negotiate their own social mobility, freedom and salvation. About 50% of the women who were canonized between 1000-1700 led lives in which extreme austerities and illness brought on by fasting/penitential practice were the central aspect of their holiness. Saint Catherine of Siena chose to fast excessively and destroy her body so her parents could not negotiate her marriage and steer her away from her religious piety. This same woman was even given a convent by papal permission because of her fasting and religious works.
I feel as though these themes that were prevalent in the lives of anorexic saints have a reverberating meaning today. Disorder and instability is common in our school/work/relationship/social life schedule but the level of discipline and self restraint involved in having an eating disorder gives most access to a feeling of control over their bodies, as you have mentioned. I think this is one of the major underlaying issues of eating disorders today.
Eating disorders are even seen as hip, having been the impetus behind the show Starved that had a short run on FX, and popularity of “pro-ana” blogs in which eating disorders are encouraged, and tips on the best way to throw up are plentiful.
If someone with an eating disorder is your girlfriend, housemate or friend, its hard for the habit to go unnoticed despite how secretive the person thinks they are. Being a smoker who has attempted determined efforts to quit in the past, I know how hard an addiction is, and its exhausting hearing from people why I should quit, because I know the statistics, I’ve seen the truth commercials, and I care about my health and have a strong resolve when necessary, but I choose not to quit cigarettes till graduation, on my own terms.
To conclude this lengthy comment, the fate of an eating disorders is completely dependent on the mentality of the person who has it. They have to have a moment of realization on their own and understand the impact of what they’re doing. And as you’ve said, I believe the best thing a friend can do is be supportive and to be there, no matter how long it takes.
your article was a nice bump for CAPS, maybe adding their number would be useful too. possible future editor note?
therapy is so necessary, and so difficult for people suffering eating disorders. in many cases it’s a coping mechanism for a larger problem. if unable to change the reason people turned to the disorders in the first place, the issue is almost impossible to treat. ana and mia sites provide tips that get you caught up in your S/LTGW, and especially with specific goals, you stop seeing the big picture and instead focus on just achieving what you want. this making it even more difficult for people to realize they have a problem.
on top of that, it’s a question of your own personal aesthetics. thin to one person is fat to another, and it’s very difficult to change what each person finds beautiful. with a media that exalts thin women, or sports that make extra weight disadvantageous (ballet, gymnastics, horse jockeys, etc) food issues are almost a given.
s, you bring up a very good point. treating the underlying issue(s) is essential to recovery. There is a lot to say about a subject like this–far too much for the short article that I wrote, and more than the knowledge that I have. I hope that people continue to add things to this forum.
Also, the number for CAPS is 732-932-9150. Call ‘em up.
Peace and Love
gambling problems are sometimes hard to cure, and it could lead to financial meltdown too ,
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