One of the scariest things about being an English major, especially during these tough economic times, is having to say “nigger” while reading southern lit. There’s always a part of me that thinks I’m going to get to the part in Huck Finn where they say, “Nigger Jim,” and someone’s going to ask me, “WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM?!” “That’s what the book says.” “Not my copy!” “What does yours say?” “N-word Jim.”

I do, of course, have other concerns. At nearly 23, I’ve reached the age where people start asking me what I want out of life. At times, I’ve answered, “I want to be killed out of anger by a stranger in front of a crowd of thousands. That way I know I did things right.” But I’ve also been insecure at times, so if someone actually threatened me, I might doubt them. “I’m going to run you down with my car.” “Are you just saying that?” “No, I mean it. You make me really angry. I’m ordering a scope right now!” “Aw, you’re such a doll. I’m getting all choked up.” “Good. If you get choked up enough I might be able to cancel my Amazon order.” Yeah, that’s right, the same place you bought your copy of I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings[1] is the same place you can buy something that lets you kill strangers (or acquaintances!) from afar[2].

Writer is my career of choice. And while that might mean the occasional bowl of cream of lettuce soup—perfect for children and invalids!— it’s a choice I’m happy to have made. Writing, however, is more than just an art form; it’s also a business. And when I got the email from the Rutgers Career Services[3] office about Speed Networking, I knew it was business time. My first thought was, “This is probably going to be awful! I gotta go to this!” Now, this mode of reasoning has gotten me in trouble in the past because it’s hard to resist, at times, avoiding that which I know I will not care for. “Oy, this omelet with neon yellow hollandaise sauce looks like it might taste bad.” “So if I ordered it, would that be funny?” “It’d be dumb.” “Close enough!”

Speed Networking, which is like speed dating but with networking, did not upset me as much as that omelet, but it wasn’t a perfectly organized event either. I entered the room to the sound of an announcement, “Just sit down anywhere and make sure a professional is sitting in front of you.” My thought was that it would be best to arrange professionals by category as opposed to at random so that students were able to speak with people whose experience was relevant to their career aspirations as opposed to having a Philosophy/English major (me) talk with twelve salespeople in a row. And while I might enjoy making Amway jokes, I would have preferred to speak to someone who worked in my own field. Sure, I’d have the chance to mingle later, but what about the hour I just spent asking people about financial independence? That being said, there was food and I won a $50 Barnes ‘N Noble gift certificate in a raffle.

When the Career Fair came around, I didn’t go in with similar expectations. (There was no free food!) Last time I’d been to a fair of this sort, it was for colleges. I showed up dressed like David Byrne in Stop Making Sense and I collected as many pens as I could. This time around, it wasn’t pens I was after. Some people go to such events thinking the world is their oyster; I wanted to find someone who felt like a shucked oyster. I wanted to talk to someone who felt like the weight of the world was causing their shell to crack and no matter how quickly they spackled they’d never be able to make things work. That person stayed home. Whether I was told, “It was too crowded,” “The job hunt has been tough,” or even, “I wanted to work in the steel industry, but it’s gone too far down,” people remained, ultimately, optimistic. They rated the event highly, saying that it was the best of the job fairs that they’d attended, and even expressed hope for the connections that they’d established.

It was a non-story. And upon reflection, I realized I didn’t even appreciate the aesthetics of the event. With all the suits, the booths, the noises, I didn’t allow my analyses to move beyond, “It’s noisy and crowded.”  Too often the world is not accorded the sort of aesthetic appreciation that’s engaged in within the walls of art museums or galleries. This is unfortunate because it brackets a whole slew of experiences that otherwise would allow one to grow as a person (or to just have a good time). People often feel uneasy going into museums because they think that appreciating art requires knowledge that they themselves aren’t privy too. This too is a shame. A person’s experience is important and valid by virtue of the role it plays in their life. Yes, art is often a means for the audience to see the world as the artist does, but whatever reaction is elicited, be it the desired one or one that’s entirely different, the response is worthy of consideration.

These might be some of the elements that keep the art world seeming inaccessible to so much of the general public. Michiko Mull, the curator of Alfa Art Gallery,[4] downtown New Brunswick’s sole art gallery, observed that, “The art world has struggled for a long time with how to incorporate the outside world and not just the art world into their environment. The art world is a very specific crowd and it’s hard to get people who aren’t in the art world to come out to your events.” But on Friday January 29^th, during the celebratory reception of the Gallery’s 2^nd year anniversary, the place was full of lively discussion and people eager to participate in the art experience.

The event, dubbed “The Caged Bird Sings”, entailed a 24 hour improvised musical performance by a cornucopia of artists. The performers sat in cells and took the vibrations they felt through their enclosures into consideration as they played. In the time I spent there, the result was a mix of ambient electronic sounds, free-jazz discordance, Dubstep’s clicks and clacks, and a range of other genres. Bongos and placid synths provided a delightful background as I made my way around the gallery.

For me, art is like poetry, or perhaps it’s the case that poetry is like art. At first, I take a glance at it. Then I concentrate on it. This is usually followed by a lengthy mulling over, during which I will drift in and out of focus on both my thoughts and the work. It’s something I enjoy doing and Alfa’s a great place to do it.

The first work I looked at was that of New Brunswick’s own Daniel Pillis. His work was described on Alfa’s website as being motivated by, “A deeply seated desire to decompress the inner workings of social systems by re-interpreting symbolic devices through the mechanisms of subjective identity.” The piece I was viewing was said to exemplify, “The relationships between the constraints of time and the creative process.”

I’m not sure how to feel about such explanations, whether they be on the web or on a tag bellow a work. Daniel’s work actually seemed relevant to my thoughts on this. The tag, like clocks featured prominently in the pieces I viewed, seek to guide and shape what one might frame as “a pure experience”. A tag or a clock can also be thought of as serving suggestions rather than objective truths. The subjective experience of a particular event can feel like one time, but then it can also be thought of as feeling like the time suggested by the clock. In the same way, I may see one thing in Dan’s work while a tag may offer another perspective that I had missed.

And while I had plenty of time to spend at Alfa, something about my experience felt rushed and I left without giving every piece what felt like the amount of consideration it deserved. It was my own fault, really, and I will certainly make another trip to the gallery to revisit the exhibition, which runs until February 17^th. Of course, there’s a lot more to art in New Brunswick than Alfa. The Hub City has a lively art scene, with its own creative ways of showcasing work and plenty of work to showcase.

The art scene, amongst other things, is something I intend to investigate in the coming year. In fact, I intend to indulge all the queries that I’ve had about New Brunswick and the world this year, whether it be the seriousness of overpopulation and resource scarcity as a threat to human civilization, the deal with that one angry street preacher (why is he so angry?!), or the sort of thing so outside my past experiences that I can’t even list it as an example because I have no idea what it might be. 2010 is going to be a year for personal and intellectual growth. A time to take chances and risks. It’s going to be my year. It’s going to be 2000Ben.

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[1] http://www.amazon.com/Know-Why-Caged-Bird-Sings/dp/0345514408/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265056830&sr=8-1

[2] http://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Tri-Rail-System-Green-Rifles/dp/B002UL127M/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&s=sporting-goods&qid=1265056983&sr=8-12

[3] http://careerservices.rutgers.edu/

[4] Located at 108 Church Street, New Brunswick, NJ.