The Johnsonville Press Daily Edition
Today’s Submission by: Ben Kharakh
1. Recommendation of the Day: Electric 6

The Electric Six have been rocking hard for over a decade, although most people probably know them, if they know them at all, because of Gay Bar, the surf rock song with the music video featuring a bevy of half naked Abraham Lincolns engaging in homoerotic activities at the Whitehouse. Ever since, E6 have been constantly evolving, their songs ranging from dancy to rocky to operatic to absurd, yet always fun and memorable.
2. Quote of the …

Today is your only chance to vote for your student government representatives. To vote, visit http://rusaelections.webs.com/.

Last night’s RUSA Presidential Debate at the Eagleton Institute of Politics was the first ever hosted at the University. Despite the extensive preparation that went into its organization by Election Committee Chairman Ben West, the turnout was expectedly low. To be fair, it was drizzling…

The Johnsonville Press Daily Edition
Today’s Submission by: Stacey Balkun
“Penguins and Beer Edition”
1. Internet Pick of the Day: BrewDog Brewery’s Tactile Nuclear Penguin:
http://www.brewdog.com/tactical_nuclear_penguin.php
Scottish men dressed as penguins, brewing beer.  Beautiful.
2. Quote of the Day: “I think I’m half penguin. Mixed penguin human, penguin human. A puman. I have the sense of humor of a human, and the fish eating abilities of a penguin, and the power of a baby wolf. And I’m quite good at swimming, provided there’s no sharks to eat me.” –My Favorite Scottish Brewer (see link above)
3. Random …

For an easy, healthy, and hearty dish follow Stacey as she creates a beautiful medley of vegetables. This recipe is great to play around with and can be eaten numerous ways: as a chili, a dip, a burrito, or anything else you desire!

Whether you spell it with one “t” or two, to me omelettes are one of those incredibly satisfying dishes that can be enjoyed at any time of the day. I first attempted the perfect omelette in 7th grade Home Ec., and I still the use the techniques I learned then to this day. I love how cheap and hearty omelettes are too, and the endless list of fillings you can incorporate (i.e. whatever you have in the fridge). Every omelette I make has 3 basic components: a herb or spice, …

To hold your hand
with such devotion
that the sprawl of city
life stops, the feet
of passing traffic silenced;

THE POUND-ELIOT EXCHANGE
Poem by Matia Guardabascio
Critique by Stacey Balkun
“Problems with Authority”
Poetry is pointless
Like pursuing a love that belongs
                   to someone else.
Don’t lie to me. I know you do
Not understand.
This is the age of broken souls;
No poetry beats here,
No love pulsates in these veins.
I belong to the generation of the youthful
Sinewy races
And None the rest on us depend,[i]
Unwanted as we are…
And yet here we are; here
We are thrust into a world
That does not want us.
Fuck you and your authority.
I am me
And I don’t want you either.
This poem works through example to list …

She Hears A Fire In The Night
With the slit wrists and forefeet of a modern messiah
A self-inflicted wound ignores the death of a married man
Every duckling is an ugly duckling, my Dear
Says the old widow to her glass eye
Then plugs her ears with fire hydrants

Variations, No. 100103
Does he ever think of the hole waiting for himself?
They say you do when you shiver in the sun.
Mamma poor mamma.  And little Oliver.
No more meat.  Was there no?
And how much of it?
Grandparents dying in our absence.
Into?
I am different than I was ever before.
I am different now than I was ever before.
But does he ever think of the hole
waiting for himself?
They say, when you shiver
at midday
                          in the bright sun…
Little Oliver!
No more meat.  Once more again no
No more meat.
                               Was there a no?
And how much of it?
And how much of …

Center of The World
I never saw you
until we stood across the river
from the center of the world
and clouds like new bruises
tried to hide among common smoke