The Johnsonville Press Daily Edition
Today’s Submission by: God (Dave Imbriaco)
1. Recommendation of the Day: This is Why You’re Fat
This peculiar photoblog documents contemporary cuisine that’ll give you Chris Christie’s waistline in no time! Some of these delectable dishes include The Bacon Mug: a giant mug made completely out of bacon and filled with cheddar cheese; or the “Flatline Burger”: “a double bacon cheeseburger with peanut butter deep fried and served with two sides of Chipotle Mayo; or “Tony’s BLT”, featuring a pound of fried bacon on Italian …

The Johnsonville Press Daily Edition
Today’s Submission by: Dave Imbriaco
1. Movie Recommendation of the Day: Army of Darkness
Probably one of the least appreciated and unintentionally funny movies in existence, Army of Darkness is the third and final installment of Bruce Campell’s Evil Dead trilogy.  This movie is the epitome of a “cult classic”: the plot is completely absurd, it was made in the 1980s and everything that is supposed to be somewhat scary is laugh-out-loud hilarious.  In this film, protagonist Bruce Campell goes with his arm-stub-mounted chainsaw and trusty shotgun through …

The Johnsonville Press Daily Edition
Today’s Submission by: Dave Imbriaco
1. Recommendation of the Day: The Presidents of the United States of America  – Love Everybody (2004)
Calling all of you that grew up in the 1990s!  Remember the songs “Lump”, “Kitty” and “Peaches”?  The Seattle-based Presidents of the United States of American (casually shortened to just “The Presidents”) burst onto the scene in 1995 with their self-titled debut and enjoyed a few brief years of superstardom before disappearing from the limelight.  In this time, they have since released five studio albums and …

I look forward, a mirror obscures my view
I look forward, only to see behind
The halls of ivy are all I know
But the vines won’t take me where
I think I need to go
How shall I plan when circumstances are so constantly chaotic?
My thoughts are obsolete the very second
They occur
Soon cast out into a world that isn’t
What we thought we were entitled to
I didn’t make this fucking mess
But now I’m my own life’s janitor
With a shit-stuffed toilet to look forward to
Disillusioned and demotivated
At the same time feeling the tug
Of a thousand chains …

A Timid Observer
Few issues today are as divisive as the issue of gay marriage.  It arouses intense passions on both sides of the debate that make it seem doomed to never actually getting anywhere.  One side claims that homosexual marriage will threaten the institution of marriage; the other side claims that this is not the case.  But what if there was a solution that could change the debate in a way that makes progress actually possible?  I propose accomplishing this goal by dropping the term “marriage” from the legal side …

Ah, the tired and true (and trite) subject of abortion…

We’ve all heard the arguments from pro-lifers, so I won’t waste your time or brain cells rehashing them. What does concern me, however, is the question of whether or not pro-lifers really understand the implications of what they are arguing for. Do they really realize what would happen if having an abortion was banned in the United States?

A Timid Observer

Until rather recently, I’ve been feeling pessimistic about whether Congress would manage to pass meaningful heath care reform this year. My opinion is changing, and for the better.

Barely a few weeks ago health care reform seemed all but dead. In the House, progressive Democrats staunchly held their ground in support of a robust public option to be included in the House bill, vowing to kill any bill that did not include one.

The mention of World of Warcraft in casual conversation usually has one of two results.  More often, it acts as an instant conversation killer—and a guarantee that you will not be getting laid tonight. But on rare occasion, it can lead to the making of a new best friend.

Last week marked the first Gubernatorial debate for New Jersey, pitting Republican candidate Chris Christie and Independent Chris Dagget against incumbent Democratic Governor Jon Corzine. Dave was one Johnson who took part in an on campus viewing of the debate at the Eagleton Institute on Rutgers’ Douglass Campus. For this article, Dave was asked a series of questions regarding his feelings before and after the debate: 1. What was your opinion of these candidates before the debate? 2. Who, in your estimation, won the debate? 3. How, if …

A Timid Observer
It’s quite amazing to see, especially nowadays in our current political climate, how easily people take very vital thing for granted.  I’m talking specifically about government.
It seems that a good number of Americans don’t understand anything about government, nor how broadly dependent they are on it, even while saying things like “Keep your government hands off of my Medicare!”